What Every Mom Yearns For
Written by Guest BloggerZainab Sulemanjee
Eileen Wacker, a Harvard Business graduate and author, pours her heart out in “The Moms Code”. The book provides great insights into the lives of working motherswho hardly live for themselves and recommends activities essential to the mental and spiritual wellbeing of a mother.
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Eileen stresses the importance of a girls night out every once in a while. Since working moms are constantly under tremendous domestic and work pressure, they need to unwind and relax with their girlfriends. Not only is a working mother continuously dealing with numerous responsibilities, commitments and criticism throughout the day, but also multitasking as her many roles demand. This time out provides a mom with the perfect therapeutic opportunity to speak out her mind, voice her concerns, and most importantly, be herself. I can relate. A few days back, my kids had exams, I was hosting guests from abroad, preparing for my sister’s wedding and had workload of writing assignments, I felt on the verge of nervous breakdown. My best friend became my savior. One evening, she dropped by my place with tickets to a movie I wanted to see and dragged me out of my house. A delicious dinner over a wholesome chat, made me understand that a few hours out just to myself was all I needed.
Eileen says that women have to save each other at different points in time. All moms, particularly working moms are playing multiple roles: wife, mother, homemaker, and career woman. It’s a challenge to maintain your own identity and sanctity throughout it all. All these commitments may break us down at some point in time, so it is essential that we all be there for one another in times of need and difficulty. And helping without the expectation of a reward or a similar act of kindness, but be nice to other moms simply because you are the best person who can relate to them. By being available and kind to others, we are enhancing the core values in our child. He/she will be a better human being so that the circle of love and kindness can continue.
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Another part of Eileen’s mom’s code is to advocate politely. For me, this means lessening differences among moms due to unnecessary involvement and obsession in their children’s activities. Feelings of competitiveness and rivalry can flare up in such situations through hyper parenting. We need to positively tackle this issue. When my eldest started school, I was constantly in touch with other moms to determine whether my son was on par with other kids in his class. In fact I became so obsessed that I started following each and every activity of a child who was excelling in class. Whatever he did, I made sure my son attempted it, whatever activity he enrolled in, I followed. Finally, my nosy intervention resulted in an argument with the child’s mom. Later, I realized I was wrong and apologized. I was caught up but don’t want to be the constantly comparing mom so I’m working on pushing down the urge when it surfaces.
I am a mom of three who juggles raising kids, running the house, and my writing career, I can very well identify and relate to Eileen’s stance on how the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional upliftment is necessary for a woman. I yearn for a weekend break in a silent and serene environment which not only provides me with a rejuvenating feeling but also reignites the zeal to pursue my domestic and career obligations with greater enthusiasm. However, despite this I too go through difficult and stressful phases, where juggling home and work becomes tiresome. Here my female coworkers, peers and particularly my family provide me with undeterred support and cooperation.